If you have never tried anal sex, you may be among the many who perceive it as a painful act of submission where all the pleasure is selfishly and sadistically enjoyed by the man thrusting his cock up your ass.
Even if you have tried it, you may be among the many others whose first and only experience was a bad one, again leaving you with the understanding that anal sex hurts.
Anal sex is easy to get wrong and when it goes wrong, it's painful for the woman. So it's no wonder that the prevailing perception is that taking it in the butt is a sexual act that, as a woman, you endure for your partner's perverted pleasure; that you should expect some discomfort or even pain.
No Way, No How
Because of this perception of anal sex being painful for women, the common reaction is flat-out rejection of the idea.
So common reasons given are:
"It's for gay guys.
"I don't have a prostate.
"It's an out-only hole.
"I already tried it and didn't like it. (or, it hurt)
Many women will dismiss anal sex without hesitation because of this perception that anal sex is painful.
But that is a misconception. It is true that anal sex can be painful. But it doesn't have to be.
Anal sex can be extremely pleasurable and enjoyable, even orgasmic, for the woman.
Why Women Enjoy Anal
Not all women hate or fear anal sex. There are also those of us who have tried anal sex and have loved it. Here are some reasons why women enjoy anal sex.
Simply touching your anus can provide pleasure. You may agree with this, even if you don't like the idea of anal sex. A tongue on your asshole (analingus) can feel even better, probably due to the warmth and the lubrication the saliva provides.
This is simply stimulation of the nerves covering your anus. The stimulation feels good and provides us physical pleasure. Sexual pleasure. Similar to touching or tonguing your vagina would.
I woman, just like a man, can also feel physical sexual pleasure from the gentle stretching of her anus. In other words, from inserting something in your ass.
Many women enjoy putting fingers or sex toys, such as beads, plugs and dildos, up their ass. This stretches the anal sphincters gently in a pleasant way that doesn't cause any pain at all.
In addition, anal penetration (whether dildo or a partner's cock) can stimulate a woman's g-spot as the phallus pushes against it, through the thin walls that separate the rectum and vagina. A number of women even orgasm more often or more intensely from anal sex compared to PV sex and this may be the reason for it.
But physical pleasure is not all there is to enjoying anal sex. There is also the increased emotional intimacy that makes us love it.
A frequent comment from women who enjoy anal sex is that they love the deeper intimacy they experience during the act.
PV sex tends to be the norm so anal sex by comparison is rare and special which can heighten the emotional intimacy.
Another big part of why anal sex can be so emotional for women is because, compared to allowing a man into your vagina, allowing him in your ass puts you in a much more vulnerable position. Your pussy is made for sex. Your ass, primarily, is made for other functions.
Compared to PV sex, discomfort, pain or even injury is more likely during anal sex so the level of trust you have to have in your partner during the act is higher. Like the trust activity where you fall back and trust someone to catch you - when you put the trust of your very vulnerable ass in your partner and he acts in a caring, loving way that brings you pleasure, the emotional response can be intense.
One woman has described another reason emotions are so high during anal sex:
We are taught to keep our anus clenched tightly at all times (unless of course, when pooping) lest we make a rude noise or release an offensive odor. Learning to relax that part of your body for sexual pleasure with a loving partner is intensely intimate.
Anal is Special
Women who enjoy anal sex enjoy it for both the physical and the emotional pleasure it brings. The emotional aspect is in part because it is a top-shelf sex act, only brought down for special occasions. It only happens when the sex is already so good, every part of you brings sexual pleasure, including your ass.
While many women have bad experiences - in part due to misguided young men and; in part due to lack of personal awareness, there are many women who count anal sex as the most intense and intimate sexual act they can experience with their partner.
The failures - the attempts that leave women never wanting to try it again - are, as mentioned the result of misconception and a lack of knowledge. Painful anal sex result when neither partner understand how different it is to the vagina and just how much special attention it needs.
Understanding your own body is salient to enjoying any type of sex act and that goes for anal too. The first step in understanding is some anatomical knowledge.