You shouldn't be attempting this if you're not ready. If your not horny, if you haven't warmed up the sphincter muscle and stretched it a bit either with fingers or toys, if you don't want to, then you shouldn't attempt to put his cock in your ass.

But, if you're horny, if you've been warming up, if you've had an orgasm already and have just pulled a butt plug or other anal toy from your asshole then you are ready.

Butt Fucking in 6 Steps

Step 1: Get the Cock Hard

You probably haven't read about this tip before because authors for magazines like Cosmopolitan that publish anal sex tips every month are writers. They may have tried anal, but most of their tips are "researched", not personal experience. This is real.

Get the cock super hard. If it's not 100% then when he get's it in your asshole will sqeeze him and will be more closed. When he starts stroking in your ass, he will swell up to full size and this sudden increase in girth will stretch your sphincter suddenly and hurt.

So when you are warming up and you decide your are ready for his cock, my advice is, with the plug in your ass and fingers rubbing your clit, start sucking that fat sausage till he feels like an iron rod. Keep sucking as you slowly pull the butt plug out of your ass then turn around and tell him it's time. He should be keeping his hard-on hard with some manual attention until you are in position.

Step 2: Condom and Lube

If you are playing safe as recommended and he isn't strapped up yet, it's time to don the glove.

Depending on the position you are in, either of you can take this moment to apply some lube to your asshole and he should also put some on his cock too.

Step 3: The Head

His cock is ready, hopefully your asshole is ready, it's time. Getting the cock in your ass is a matter of your butthole stretching wide enough that his cock can slip in. After that you should be ok because your ass can stay open if something is in there. It's the getting it open from the outside that causes the pain.

Just like when you put the butt plug in your ass, if you use the clench and relax technique (along with having already warmed up with fingers and toys) you should be able to get his cock in there fine.

Choose your position. Cowgirl (you on top) is the best position to give you control for that first part. But it can be difficult for some guys to keep their cocks super hard in this position, with your weight on their stomach and some women just don't like being on top.

You on your back with your legs pulled up and your butt on a pillow to give him access can be good so he can keep stroking his cock for as long as it takes to get it in your ass but you give up all control. You must direct verbally from this position.

Doggy is a good one that give you some control and still lets him keep that cock like a rock with some slow stroking. Both of you can push but you have the freedom to lean forward if you want to pull off his cock.

Anyway, you're lubed up, his cock is too and he should now put his cock head against your asshole. He should push gently (or you should lower yourself on his cock just a bit). Not to try getting it in your ass, just to apply some pressure. Squeeze your sphincter tight and hold it. Now relax, pushing out like you would when you're trying to poop, but just gently. Feel how the head of his cock pushes against your asshole, even entering slightly.

Now, sqeeze again and he should push a bit more. Relax and feel his cock push a little further in.

Repeat again and again. You might find it very easy to get him in or it might take a while. Don't push too hard. Don't force it. If you can't do it, admit defeat and agree to try it again another time.

But eventually, hopefully you can get his cock to slide in, past the thick outer sphincter and past the inner, weaker, more sensative sphincter. (The inner one is the one you can't control and is the one that will give you trouble if you force things.)

Step 4: Fuck

Guys with a degree in sex-ed from x-hamster or a masters in anal from porn-hub might think the best thing to do once they get the head of their cock in your ass is to push in as deep as they can go and start fucking like they would your pussy.

I hope your guy doesn't do that. To be honest, a guy miseducated by internet porn is worse than one who doesn't know anything - but you can't blame a guy for his ignorance. If he's had a dildo up his own ass, he'll know how an ass really works but most guys are porn educated and it's not good news for women. So as soon as you feel his cock head is in, tell him to stop.

If you need to get used to it, tell him to stop right there and not to move. If you enjoy the feeling of his cock sliding up your ass, tell him to push in deeper, slowly. If you need his cock out of your ass, tell him to take it out. You need to be in control of that thick rod up your ass so be in control. Stay in control by telling him. Most guys aren't good at reading subtle signals, so direct spoken word cues are needed.

If it's the first time for both of you (or either of you) you should know that anal sex isn't like vaginal sex. Especially the first few times, a lot of in-and-out will stop feeling good quite quickly. So, not only does a long warm up with lots of slower, easy sex help the woman get turned on and more likely to enjoy anal, it helps the man get close to orgasm. His goal should not be to last a long time with anal sex. The faster he comes (at least the first few times you try anal), the easier it is and the more likely you will be looking forward to another anal sex experience.

Sometimes deep anal fucking can be really good, but for most people the first few times they try anal sex, shallower, slower anal sex will be more enjoyable for the woman.

Step 5: Orgasm

For some women, anal sex can result in orgasms more intense than vaginal sex. I can orgasm from oral sex. I can squirt (well, gush really, no actual squirting) from fingering, and I really enjoy cumming from by husband's cock thrusting into my pussy. But I have never experienced an anal orgasm. Still, don't let that turn you off. Even without the orgasms, anal sex is beautiful.

But some women do orgasm from anal sex. I didn't believe it myself, despite all I'd read but a friend of mine has told me she prefers anal sex and her orgasms are much better from anal. I had to ask her, blushing as I did, if she meant from herself (with a subtle gesture indicating her using her fingers to stimulate her clit) or from the dick in her ass. She then explained in detail as I listened rapt, how with just her boyfriends cock in her ass, she has the most intense orgasms. She married that man and they are still very happily married.

Whether you orgasm and whther you decide to end the anal sex session at that point or not, just be sure you end it when you need to. This is very important. Do not keep going if you have to endure it. Enjoy it and stop when you stop enjoying it so you can look forward to the next time.

His orgasm, if it happens in your ass will likely end the session. If he's wearing a condom, dispose as normal. If not, you'll need to decide where you want his cum. If he's your long term partner, if you are monogamous and if you know he is STI free (meaning, he's been tested) then taking his cum in your ass won't expose you to anything extra. You may like or dislike the feeling of his cum in your ass. Some women love it, others hate it.

However you want it, in your ass or on your belly, back, wherever, tell him.

Some guys might want to cum inside you and feel a little rejected when you ask him to pull out. I can't say he shouldn't feel rejected because his reaction to a situation is personal but I can say that either way you want it, you can make it a fun part of the event. Talk about it, be aware of where he is in terms of his orgasm. Know when it's approaching. Make your partner's orgasm important to you too (as any good lover should do) and enjoy it. Take pleasure in seeing him shoot it on your belly or however it ends. He should enjoy seeing your orgasm and you should enjoy his.

Step 6: Cool Down

Anal sex can be an emotionally intense act for both partners. There are many reasons it can be more intense than PV sex so when it's finished, it's a great time to bask in the afterglow of great sex and just be with each other.

If you took his cum in your ass, you may need to rush to the bathroom to expel the cum and lube slurry. No problem. Come back quickly though and enjoy some endorphine aftermath with your partner. If you don't feel the need to push anything out, that's fine too. You can squeeze your ass muscles and pull any liquid back up into the storage area of you anal canal and it shouldn't bother you.

For guys, if the fucking of your partners ass has brought her to orgasm, she may be feeling any number of feelings. All of which hold you in a good light. Be there with her. The trust she's given you letting you put your cock in her ass, the intimacy this requires shouldn't be forgotten as soon as your cock comes out. Be there with her and enjoy the fading warmth of sex endorphins, the natural and wonderful love potion our own brains concoct when we orgasm.